So my computer is sitting forlorn and dusty, but I don't really feel bad for it. It's nice to be out and interacting with people. I feel like I've been hiding behind a phone or computer for the past year.
Sometimes if you've gone a long time with out talking to people you're not familiar with face to face you can get a little shy. I think everyone is shy about who there are on some level. Otherwise why would computers and cell phones be so popular.
My new job is forcing me out to do more face to face conversing. There are some days where I don't really want to go into my patients' rooms and do the face to face thing. You never know what'll happen in there and it's so easy to just hide outside. The interesting part is that the more you get talking to real people the easier it becomes. It's like when you go away for a long vacation and your first day back is sooo hard but after a few days the anxiety lifts and you forget you were even stressed about returning.
My Shaman told me last week I have to practice appreciating the connections that come naturally in my life instead of reaching out for connections that aren't there.
If you take the time to sit still and listen it's easier to see how some connections flow and some you have to force through like the lid of a jar put on too tight.
The funny thing is it's hard not to want to make those difficult connections work. I mean they're a challenge and we're programmed to think if it's challenging they must be worth having. Half the time though the reason it's challenging is because the other person just isn't that into you or because their thought patterns and your thought patterns don't really click and you end up trying to change yourself to make that not true. With all this chasing you're doing you're losing the time you could be spending with people you already connect with. Eventually if neglected long enough you lose that connection too.
So take a minute to love what you've got and maybe if you're out of friends right now don't take that as a sign you don't deserve friends but as a sign you're not giving a chance to the connections that are waiting to be made. Or maybe you need to connect with yourself first...