Wednesday, October 1, 2008

“Like a summer rose I’m a victim of the Fall
But I’m soon returning, soon returning.
Your love’s the warmest place my sun every shines
In my morning yearning, morning yearning…”
Morning Yearning by Ben Harper from the Both Sides of the Gun album

It’s funny how some songs inspire emotions for a while when you hear them, whether it’s feelings of joy or sadness or whichever. Some songs create this feeling in you only for a short while, but then there are some songs that will always inspire emotion in you no matter how many years you listen to them. I think those songs are the most powerful of all, akin to your sense of smell which has the ability to drag up memories from years before where you may have never thought of them otherwise. When you think about it visual cues just don’t drag up memories the way smells and songs can. When something has that powerful an effect on me I always assume it must be deeply ingrained in our reptilian brain. That’s the explanation I’ve always heard for why our sense of smell links to emotions- because it’s one of the senses that was linked farthest back in the evolutionary chain. That makes me wonder about music. How long have animals been hearing music in the world around them? What does it take to constitute music? Does the sound of crickets at night mingled with the breeze rushing through dry leaves count as music? Does our brain still register these medleys as music? Why has our music become so much more elaborate and controlled?

It’s 2am in the morning and I’m at the hospital for an overnight shift. It’s a funny shift because it’s easy and hard at the same time. Patients sleep through a lot of the night so we have a lot o time to ourselves but at the same time my ability to stay conscious at 3am can sometimes be a struggle. Sometimes it almost feels like too much time to think.

I’ve been trying to find out more information about the Nurse Practitioners program at Ottawa University but am unfortunately stuck behind the glass of technology. Their website is under the infamous “Construction” and the contact email person they have on the site has not responded. I know I have lots of time to apply and half of me isn’t set on the plan anyways but I still would like not to sit around only to realize I’m too late to apply. It’s tricky sometimes because I feel like I’m still asking myself the question “what do I want to be when I grow up?” and I’m still not sure of the answer. In the mean time I can’t sit around waiting for the answer.

I guess I’ll go check on my patients, make sure they’re catching some dreams. Hope you’re all catching some dreams too.
Night.