Monday, June 16, 2008

The Happiness Crash n Burn

That was a really nice weekend. Got out for some island camping and some outdoor climbing and despite the occasional down-pour I didn't end up getting rained on once. I got a bit of a tan, a thousand bugs bites and all in all feel happy still from the good weekend even though Monday came and decided it was a good day to go to work.

I received an interesting and unexpected email today that made me think of happiness too. The email had me thinking about humans and the funny ultimatums we put on our happiness- "I'll be happy when I finish university." "I'll be happy once my show is on." "I'll be happy when Friday is here."... Poor happiness, we always hold it hostage to our demands instead of just letting it free.

I was thinking of the ultimatums that I place on my happiness and how much I limit myself with them. For me it's always been "I'll be happy when everyone else is happy." So much so that when ever I get a chance to make a wish my first wish is for everyone else's happiness. And then I put a lot of energy into this wish and make a lot of decisions around other people being happy, but really all the things I do are never going to stop other people from having crappy days. And then because I've decided I'm not happy unless they are on their bad days I'm unhappy too. And really I was probably unhappy before they brought me down because I can't steal their happiness and use it as my own.
It reminded me of the saying I'm sure most people know- "As you sow, so you shall reap." So if I plant all my chances at happiness in someone else's garden then I'm leaving the responsibility of caring for it in their hands. And most people have enough to care about with their own happiness and don't have time for mine. Really I think part of me just finds it easier to place the responsibility of my happiness in another's hands. That way if it doesn't work out it's not my fault. Kind of the wussy way about it eh?

The other part is I truly believe that if everyone looked after everyone else before themselves the world would be a awesome place. Which might be true but good luck getting everyone to agree to that plan.

So when it comes down to it I think it's important to base your decisions in life on what you'd like to achieve and see and do and if you have energy left over after that then of course help others.
But it's a bit like on a plane when they tell you in case of an emergency secure your own air mask first before helping anyone else, because if you don't you may pass out before you can help another passenger.
I think that's true of happiness too. If you don't take care of yourself what good are you to the people around you.
So enjoy the rest of your day, you only get it once.
*yoga hugs*