Sunday, April 20, 2008

Shootin' for Monkey Bums

So here's an interesting one for you off the Spoon myspace site, "Higher the monkey climb, the more he expose."
That means a couple different things to me but I'll let you figure out what it means to you.

I had an awesomely busy and fun weekend and it looks like I have a bit more to come before I buckle down and get to work. The funny thing is I had all these ideas of exactly how my weekend was going to go and then plans kept changing and nothing went how I originally thought it would, but I still had an awesome time. Of course it's really tempting to focus on the fact that I had to keep changing plans. And I've definitely done that to myself in the past. I feel weird if I'm not busy, so I get a little panicky when plans fall apart. So if I make a bunch of plans and then they all get cancelled it can put me in a bad mood. Yet, I'm always saying I wish I had time to do this or that, but when this free time suddenly appears instead of using it I focus on the fact that the free time shouldn't be there because I didn't plan it there. I know that's just my ego's never ending need to be in control.
I have to keep reminding myself that nothing is static or permanent in life. But as humans we're always trying to make things solid. We're building houses to bring us stability and careers that should have a clear expected course and we get ourselves into relationships that seem dependable and predictable. Then just to prove the fact that nothing's permanent a storm blows the roof off your house, you lose your job and you make up and break up with whoever you're with a million times. Nothing's permanent except for the part of you that has always been and will always be (your Atman). It's like we're trying to build our lives in the middle of river and just when we think we've got a solid foundation all set out something tugs us loose again and we get all irritated at life. But we're the ones trying to make a solid surface in white waters (and by we I mean me). I think it's a hard thing to learn though and very much a part of our animal natures to want a safe place in life. Just like monkeys who climb trees to get away from danger.
Just some food for thought on this late night.

I hope everybody had a chance to look out at that amazing moon as it was rising tonight. And if you're reading this on Monday I'll be wishing you a glorious Monday full of happiness and all good things unMondayish.
Shanti!