Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Only a few weeks from graduating...

Well, we started on this yoga teacher training last November and I'll be honest and say I didn't imagine this much change. The funny part is I just imagined being able to touch my toes easier and I haven't actually gained a ton of flexibility because I was pretty stretchy to start with. But my mind sure gained some flexibility. I can feel all my thoughts flowing a little easier.
In the beginning of our course the changes were slow. I would come and sit on my yoga mat for the weekend listening to our teacher and my foot would tap the whole time (I'm full of adrenalin) and my brain would take flight like a dragonfly from one part of my life to another, but the changes were trying to come, I could feel them. It was kind of like when you're in a deep sleep and your cat puts his paw on your nose (as mine tends to do) and you can feel yourself being pulled out. That was how the changes felt for me, slow and sluggish at first but then as I started to wake up my mind became clear and focus.
It started with Ahimsa (the yoga practice of non-harm) we were supposed to choose something to do for two weeks for our practice of Ahimsa and the teacher suggested not eating meat. Well I balked at the suggestion. Grrr. How dare he tell me what to eat. (The funny part is I don't eat meat hardly ever anyhow). Then the next class was Satya (The yoga practice of truth telling). Again I felt pushed, why are these people trying to change me. So my mind continued to fly around ignoring the teachings being handed to me, but somewhere, some part of me was listening. And quietly it began to whisper that maybe the changes suggested bothered me so much because I knew I needed to make them.
Half way through the course I consciously decided to begin practicing Ahimsa and Satya. This lead to a lot of changes. A split from the relationship I was in, moving out on my own, seriously moving towards a new job while learning to love the job I have (a miracle in and of itself).
Now we're almost at the end of the course and I hope to continue forward on my path to enlightenment. I still have more changes to come, they will be easier as my mind has become more still although I am still training it to quiet down and stop wrestling with the world around it, instead taking the changes coming and working with them. So much work to do, let's see how I go...